Let me start by saying: 2016 is being really stupid. I don’t know a single person who isn’t excited to say, “So long, SUCKA!!!” to 2016. This year has been the psycho ex that wants to destroy everything you love because they can’t have you anymore- it knows it has to go, so it’s taking our loves with it. Since 2016 wants to be a jerk, I want to give you cocktails that will not only help you ring in 2017, they’ll also take the edge off of the pain in the tukhus that was 2016.
Now, if I read one more doggone death announcement, I’m going to lose it. Seems like the news is full of names that the Grim Reaper has stolen from us. The passing of Watership Down’s author, Richard Adams, not to mention Carrie Fisher who helped us steer clear of the “Dark Side”; the most devastating blow for me after the loss of my beloved Prince? George Michael…
I need a moment.
Yes, my pre-teen crush, G.M., passed away on Christmas Day. I read the news on my phone as the Soldier and I were returning from delivering Christmas dinners to some of his Soldiers who were pulling duty. The guttural moan from my body made him fear the worst. When I told him that my Precious had died, he said, “That’s messed up,” but looked at me with disdain. A cocktail was needed, for sure.
Understandably, I come off as dramatic (especially to the Soldier), but I can’t help that George adorned my childhood bedroom’s walls and sang to me when no one was watching! Between him and Prince, my girlhood was filled with nights of being serenaded with songs of their love and devotion to me. It’s just- only I knew about it. Even after George Michael came out of the closet, I still held out hope that he would find me and I’d change his mind. It never happened, obviously, and that’s okay! But, him dying on me?!?! I’m messed up behind it, y’all.
Aside from 2016 taking so many of our most-loved public figures, we’ve all suffered some pretty dark times in our personal lives as well. Who else is really looking forward to ringing in 2017? Even in the face of a looming deployment, I’m excited about what the new year holds for me and my tribe. No one’s crazy enough to say that 2017 can’t be any worse than 2016 was, I at least hope no one’s that foolish. What I will say is that I’m going to approach the new year with a new motto: “Don’t be such a 2016”. Really! No one will look back and say, “2016 was a great year!” Well, if you got married or had a baby, yes, it was a great year for you, however, for those of us who haven’t, 2016 was a tad sucky. More than a tad. So, whenever I’m feeling “Blah”, or someone comes at me all negative-like, I’m going to smile and state, “Don’t be such a 2016.” I have decreed it.
Therefore, to kick off 2017 right proper, I’ve created some cocktails to ring in the New Year! Some are twists on old classic cocktails, partially because the Soldier says he, “Ain’t dranking (yes, that’s what he said) no froo-froo cocktail,” partly because I like the old-school, Mad Men-esque vibe. The Roaring 20’s has always been my favorite era. I always say I should’ve been born during the twenties because I’m always down for sequins and red lips. Alas, God has a plan for me here in the 2000’s. I can’t justify going out and spending paychecks on flapper’s dresses, but I can create foods and drinks (and soirees) to satiate my Cotton Club whims. Here are a few I want to share with you. Most of all, there’s even one in here for the kiddos- because drunk kids are a bad year waiting to happen.
But first! What are your plans for NYE? Let me know in the comments- especially if I’m invited!